(photograph “Reality” by @ds_heck / +D / @d_heck(instagram) used by Permission)

I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. I try to be fully present in the moment. Being human, at times, it can take awhile for moment & presence to unite. It seems to happen during moments of breathtaking pain, loss, grief, joy, wonder, love. With practice, it becomes habit, awareness, mindful of Joy and Contentment in the midst of not only the breathtaking moments, but makes ordinary moments breathtaking in themselves when I become aware.

Each day is precious, a gift to be treasured. Life is short. After everything, I don’t understand how anyone can take anything for granted, let alone, expect it, or worse: DEMAND it.

Life is about what one gives and shares, not what one gets. Contentment, joy, satisfaction are NEVER negotiated, and cannot be bought nor traded for. They are LIVED, and more than that, GIVEN freely, SHARED, from the INSIDE out, starting with gratefulness, lived with presence, with awareness.

Relationships, reciprocation of care, are the ONLY things one can take when our lives here are over. If there is no reciprocation, then, by definition, it’s not a relationship.

Anything else is a complete waste of time and heart.

I’m hopeful this doesn’t cause anyone resentment nor pain. There is always joy, even in our grief and pain. It’s way deeper than happy, and much longer lasting.

I know how bittersweet, devastating, & painful loss is, having literally lost everything, including almost everyone I loved, well over 16 years ago. I hope my greatest treasure is what I value most: the gift of what friends, who are, family, have shared with me: their presence, their acceptance, their love – providing the joy of your presence even during the grief and pain of loss. I’ve done my best to return that treasure: honest presence, the joy and love you’ve given and shared with me, in your presence with me, in grief, in joy, in every day moments.

I give everyday everything I have. Wish more would. No regrets. Spite, vindictiveness, revenge, jealousy, envy, anger, entitlement, selfishness, all are hollow excuses that never fulfill, and are self-destructive in the end. (Thank you Brenda for helping to put feelings to thoughts, thoughts to words, words to paper, so to speak, and life to my words).


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Just a guy directly challenged to write and share my experiences. This is not easy.

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