Love is Closer Than We Think

Love is Closer Than We Think

Building Bridges #1

“Love stays close to the broken hearted and saves those whose spirits are crushed”

‘You Are A Poor Investment’, ‘I Didn’t Think You Could Do It’, ‘You Are A Disappointment’, ‘Damaged Goods’, ‘Social Liability’, ‘Different’, ‘Not One of Us’, ‘On Your Own’, ‘Maybe Next Time’, ‘Unteachable’, ‘Freak’, ‘Crazy’, ‘No One Will Ever Understand You’, ‘That’s Exactly What You Just Did’, ‘Your Services Are No Longer Required’, ‘Leave’, ‘Goodbye’: I have been crushed. I’ve been cut to the quick by sudden, unexpected, cutting, shredding words full of judgmental condemnation and rejection. I thought I was alone, expressing it in writing at that time:

What I Found
 
I sought The Mystical, beyond physical,
Alchemical, Transcendental;
All, I gave; Ultimately, Not shared.
A union declared, But left adrift,
Half, Tending the Share;
Half, Not willing to care.
Illness then came;
Hunger, longing, Despair;
No affection, nor tenderness,
No Support nor belief;
Instead politeness, detachment,
Cool ennui.
No sense of Home;
Left,
Bereft,
I found Myself,
Alone.
 
 

I wrote this many years ago in the process of losing literally everything. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Providence was there with me. When I had lost everything, my brothers, my honor, my self-respect, my safety, my company, my marriage at that time, my finances, my home, my car, my dog, my cat, my anger, my beloved books, my pride, my sanity, people I thought were my friends, many of them “religious”, and, for a while, even family. I lost everything that ever meant anything to me. I certainly was broken-hearted. Providence was always there. As I dug deeper into despair, it drew closer.

Three friends, none of them, not one, were religious, looked until they found me. In that moment of utter and complete failure, I discovered love was looking for me, even when I didn’t want to be found, even when I didn’t want anyone to care. All of my education, my knowledge, my skill, everything I’d ever been taught, nothing could prevent the crushing loss I’d known throughout my life. In that moment, losing everything, especially my pride, I found an odd thing: freedom.

I would never recommend discovering freedom the way I did to anyone. Love proceeded to heal the gaping emotional wounds from what I had thought of as a life of loss. I had come to believe by the time I had turned 34, that my life was determined by the constant pain in my life, and the level of that pain, both physical & emotional. It wasn’t easy, taking time, and hard work.

Imagine discovering, to my astonishment, that love then gave me: Peace, Joy, Contentment. It was particularly liberating, and still is. Anything good that is in my life today, has been given to me by love – my loved ones, my job, my home, life itself is precious, each day: a gift; even that, which others may intend as evil to us, is a gift, that, in our refusal to respond in kind, is turned into good, by the transforming power of love itself, by responding in love. Love is powerful, even in our darkest moments, when the worst words we’ve ever heard still come back to haunt us in the middle of the night.

Are you broken-hearted? Is your spirit crushed? Love is closer than you think.

“Love stays close to the broken hearted and saves those whose spirits are crushed”

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menbuildingbridges

Just a guy directly challenged to write and share my experiences. This is not easy.

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